


Discovery

by ilyena_sylph



Series: Growing up Kryptonian [2]
Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-30
Updated: 2006-05-30
Packaged: 2017-10-02 21:47:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilyena_sylph/pseuds/ilyena_sylph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thanks go out to amarin_rose and the_artist_19 who caught dozens of errors in characterization, repetitiousness, and plain lack of creativity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Discovery

Kon snapped awake, his heart slamming against his ribs. //What the hell? What woke me--// The wicked, piercing scream of a train whistle ripped through the room over the echoes of the first whistle. //Oh. That damned train. 15 miles away and it sounds like it's right in my ear and scares me half to death.//

He curled onto his side, panting, trying to relax, telling himself //Everything's fine... it was just the train, no one's in trouble,// and realized he was way turned on. Not really all that unusual, but... //What in the hell was I dreaming?//

It wasn't that he objected to... explicit... dreams, they were generally fairly interesting, but he was always curious about what his sleeping brain had been up to without his consent. Sometimes the answers were weird, but mostly... just hot. He lay quietly, closing his eyes, trying to recall the dream--and deep blue eyes and short black hair slid into his thoughts--//Shit! Not again!//

This had been a disturbingly-frequent occurrence in the week since his first run-in with the Kryptonian version of puberty, and Kon really, really wished it would just go away. He wasn't gay, he liked girls and women just fine thankyouverymuch, and he'd be a hell of a lot happier if his wet dreams would quit featuring his best friend, please!

He shifted enough to bang his head lightly against the headboard, his aura pulled away to let him feel the impacts--and a flicker of memory slid through him. //"Drop the aura, Kon. I've got your back..."// Robin's voice, low and quiet in the silence of the cave... He swallowed hard, unable to help the way he reacted to that scrap of memory--much as he wished he could. He felt himself shudder, and it wasn't in revulsion, much to his dismay.

He closed his eyes--and another scrap of memory resurfaced from the utter haze malthi'ne had drawn over his mind, //'You have a girlfriend!' "Irrelevant. You're in pain."...Irrelevant my ass, Rob... you cheated on your girl for me... 'Course, I cheated on Cassie...// Guilt flashed through his mind, along with the question he hadn't yet answered. //Does it make it any better that it wasn't my fault?//

He shook his head. //Even Superman doesn't blame me for that... and i'm not ever gonna tell her. Now... what in the hell is going on with me? Why is remembering Rob turning me on? I don't want it to... I've gotta figure this out...//

Deliberately, he started trying to remember more--and another image hit him--Tim braced over him, fingers inside him.... He squirmed at sense-memory, flushing--it had felt so good--Rob talking to him, telling him not to be afraid, //"I have you,"..."it's me. Tim. Robin"...// //And god, did he... Sure, freakout city, now, but then... I just felt safe... and turned on, but I knew he was safe...//

He felt that all over again, the slow, thick slide... and oh.... He bit his lip, half-disgusted with how good it seemed... After all, he was pretty damned certain he shouldn't think that had felt good.

A tiny, quiet voice whispered, =but it did...it felt really good... 'Cause it was Rob...=

//'Cause of the compulsion, y'mean, right?// he retorted sharply, and that little voice whispered, =no... not just that... wouldn't have been good with anyone else... just Rob...=

Kon shook his head, trying to cope with that idea, feeling a little like he was going crazy, arguing with himself. //Whatever. I guess. Maybe. That could be true... If it had to be anybody, better Rob... He'll never say a word. And he coped okay... he's the only one I could trust, so I guess maybe that's true after all...//

He shifted, disturbingly aroused, and kept thinking, trying to wrap his head around this, unwilling to say it was just malthi'ne... If it was, he shouldn't still be reacting... So, much as he hated to admit it, there had to be something else going on. //What else is there? What am I missing?//

The answer slammed into his mind like the damned train whistle, the memory of Robin over him, inside him, blue eyes blazing, talking to him, //"Didn't think it could be this good... you're so hot... hot enough to burn... So gorgeous... you're shaking... at the sound of my voice, my body inside you... How can I want to protect you and want to make you scream at the same time?"// kissing him, hand on him, coaxing him to come... //He... what was that about?!//

He felt himself shake, realized he'd wrapped his hand around himself, jerking himself off at the same pace Tim'd used... and he let it happen, brought back to the edge by the memories, climax taking over in a white-light flare, nothing but blue eyes left in his mind...

It was a few moments before he could move even enough to clean up, shaking his head as he did, brow furrowed. He didn't want to change how he thought of himself, but when you're getting off thinking about your best (and very male) friend fucking you, there's a little problem with thinking you're straight. Especially when said best friend just might... like it just as much?

//Hell, No. That would just make things worse! I'm not gay, damn it!// The protest sounded a bit weak.

//Fuck. Damn it all to hell... I don't want to freaking deal with this...// He tossed the Kleenex and pulled clean boxers on, staring at the ceiling in confused misery until sleep caught up with him and carried him away, giving him peace... at least until morning light.

~*~*~

Several hundred miles and as many hours away, Tim wasn't having a particularly good night either. Of course, his bad night was for far different reasons. First, it was a full moon and (despite a lack of werewolves //Thank God//) every crazy not in Arkham was out making trouble. Second, Batman was away on a JLA case, leaving him in charge of handling the city with only Huntress and Batgirl for backup. Third, and least pleasant, it was like the criminals had some kind of Bat-detection-radar, because the kind of scum that wouldn't dare peek out of their houses at night with the Bat at home were out and about. That meant he was running //actually, jumplining// his ass off apprehending and zip-stripping the jackasses, unable to get even a few moments' break to rest.

All three of them were busy, but in the Bat's area of the city it seemed even worse than usual, and he had the watch in that district and his, due to his senior partner's orders before departure. //If I didn't know better, I'd think this was deliberate, as he wasn't very happy with me after I refused to tell him what Superman wanted to 'borrow" me for...// Despite years of self-control training, he flushed at that thought. //Of course, he'd have been much less happy if I'd told him Kal was playing... pimp?//

That word didn't sit well, especially not in connection with Superman. After all, he'd obviously been both worried and embarrassed about the situation his young clone was in, and very definitely not involved out of any sort of voyeuristic interest, but if anyone could tell him the right word for someone that flew another person 4958 miles for the express purpose of having sex with his... successor would be, he'd be glad to hear it. //Procurer? ...Oh, that was not helpful....// A bit more accurate, perhaps, but still not helpful--he heard the distinctive sound of glass breaking, located the window in another heartbeat, and moved, rather... firmly dissuading the idiot with the tire iron from continuing his break-in. Steel-toes to the jaw and zip-strips around the extremities were so useful for that sort of persuasion.

Leaving the idiot behind for the police, he returned to the rooftops, moving along, keeping eyes and ears out for trouble. //If it wasn't so frustrating, I'd be glad of the extra work... A slow night would give me way too much time to think... which I've been avoiding all week. Although, about that, Batman did seem to approve of my increased workout schedule...//

Wearing himself out immediately after arriving from school, catching a quick nap, then going out on patrol might not have been the sanest coping mechanism yet invented, but it was (at least mostly) working. If he was doing forms (or any other exercise,) he didn't have the concentration left over to think abo--//Don't go there!!//

\--ut Kon.

//Oh, hell.// The Robin part of him was not impressed. The long and grueling workouts he'd been putting himself through in order to avoid this very topic were apparently going to be for nothing, ridiculous as that was on this kind of a night, when he needed to be completely paying attention....

Yet, he couldn't stop the thoughts from coming--//oh, not funny//, he snapped at his giggling inner 12-year-old--now that he'd let them out of their hermetically sealed, time-locked (not well enough) little box inside his head. Apparently, they'd been as eager to break out as Arkham's patients--//And are almost as dangerous!// Robin snapped as he attempted to block off all thoughts of his teammate (partner [lover] best friend) and had no success.

He dropped to one roof and found the thickest patch of shadow by instinct, draping his cape around himself (to hide) as extra camouflage, and leaned his head back against the wall. //This is not the time for this,// he protested, but the floodgates were open, it was all going to come rushing out...

Memories flashed through him, not just of that day, (though the feel of Kon's body was scattered through every last one, now...) but of so many others as well. A non-linear, disorganized, chaotic array of flashes of memory ripped through him, dragging out emotions as they whipsawed through his mind, leaving his heart as raw as it had been while he washed the traces of their encounter from his skin... It was not a state he'd ever wanted to be in again.

All the moments that had slowly changed (the Kid) Kon into more than a sometime-teammate, sometime-rival ran through him all over again. The (rare) moments he'd hated him like fire (Apokalips, that damned smugness), moments he'd had to put every last bit of his trust in him (every time he carries me), and the moments (that smile, his laugh, when he lost his powers and was so lost...) that had slowly wrapped chains around his soul, binding them together until everyone knew ("Oh, Superboy? Yeah. He's Robin's best friend.") that they were close... But no-one knew (could ever know) how much Robin (the cold [heartless] one, the cynical one, the tactician, the leader) had fallen for the (overgrown four-year-old) half-Kryptonian hero. //Especially not Kon... he'd freak...// He finally had control of the worst of it, and cursed the emotional barrage once it was finally over.

=And I'd lose my best friend...= his 'hopeful' voice had become much more dejected since that day. =It's too long between weekends as it is, if he didn't want to see me at all, I... don't know what I'd do.= He bit back a shudder at the very thought.

//So, what to do? Can't let Kon know... but I can't let him go, either. I can't shut him out. I'm not strong enough to do that... I don't know how I'd even start. But I can't let him get close enough to realize... and his senses are so good (when he uses them) that it's going to be harder to hide, now. Where's the fulcrum? How do I balance this?//

A sudden sound brought him to his feet, wheeling like a (frightened) startled version of his avian namesake, scanning his rooftop, doing his best to pull his detachment back on--

"Hello, birdy..." the low velvet slide of Catwoman's voice slid over his ears even as his eyes found her crouched on the ledge not far away //Shit, she's in whip-range!//. "You're not who I expected to find in this part of Gotham..."

//No, and you're not at all happy about it,// he noted from the sulky slide of her voice. "Bet not. What were you up to? I thought you mostly stayed on the East End anymore..." //Do not tell me you've backslid...//

"Oh... Nothing much..." she purred, standing up to walk back and forth along the ledge, whip twisting idly. //Just like a cat's tail. Good mood indicator, but don't let it distract you.// "I was rather hoping to run into your partner... but I promise, Robin, I'm being a good girl..." Her voice was candy sweet //and poisoned,// he reminded himself. "So I was just out, when I saw you all curled up in a corner... What's the matter, baby bird?"

//She actually sounds concerned... Riiight.// He snorted, shaking his head. "Just thinking, Catwoman. Just thinking. I do that every so often... it's nothing important." //He says she's gone legit, so I can't crack down on her... and I owe her one, anyway. Best to just leave the situation as fast as possible.// "If this was about something important, I can get the message to him..."

"I doubt that you were 'just thinking,' Robin... but I'm hardly someone you would want to talk to, am I? Thank you for the offer, but no, baby bird. It's... vaguely important, but not the sort of message I would ask you to deliver... not if I wanted him to actually pay attention to it..." The laughter in her voice told him exactly what she meant, and it was a struggle not to shake his head. //Oh, not again. I like him so much better when they're "off"...//

"All right. I'll let him know you were looking... and I'd best get back to doing my job."

"Oh, no, don't," the Cat protested, shaking her head. "You'd spoil all my fun..." Her voice dropped a little at that, quicksilver moods changing to something more dangerous.

//Whoops. Damage control!// "All right, if you insist. I don't think you'll manage to sneak up on him, though." //I never do.//

"We'll see," she laughed, back to good humor as quickly as her mood had turned dangerous. "We'll see."

A shriek drew both of their eyes towards the street, and he tried not to smirk at his own thoughts. //Saved by the (bell) shriek?--Whatever works.// "Gotta go..."

"Have fun, little bird," she said, her tone almost warm, and leapt off across the roofs, back towards the East End, while he went to deal with the situation at hand, unsure if he was grateful for or angry about the interruption of his thoughts. He finally decided to go with grateful. Dealing with Catwoman was stressful enough that his head was back on straight, and the short fight he found himself in centered him more yet, focused aggression taking the place of that quagmire of emotions (much to his relief). Once again he filed 'What to do about Kon' for later thought. //That doesn't solve anything... Tomorrow's Friday...//

*~*~*~

In sharp contrast to most of his classmates' opinions, the last day of this week's classes went by entirely too swiftly for Robin's peace of mind. None of them seemed to last more than a few moments, as though Bart was racing in and speeding up the clocks--and the disgusting thing was that he knew precisely why his excellent sense of time was misbehaving. He hadn't been able to determine a productive course of action with regards to Kon, and considering that he was going to see him in less than two hours (barring his getting detention, of course), that was not an... acceptable state of affairs. //You're being particularly verbose.//

=Oh, shove off. This isn't good, and I know it. It could lead to all sorts of questions I truly don't want to be asked.=

//From who? And why? Just be as cold as you normally are, and no one will notice anything unusual. And go spend some time with Bart. You haven't been spending enough time with him, anyway.//

=I know... Kon's just been so unhappy about the Luthor thing, I've been trying to take care of him, and now this whole mess... and Bart's seemed okay... He's so much more mature, now, that I don't feel like I have to keep such a close eye on him anymore.=

//True. But no one other than you is going to think it's strange for you to spend time with Bart again. You even know which cards to play to make it cool with him. A little guilt--just a trace, or it'll be too much--a little embarrassment, and your skateboard... He'll forgive you.//

The bell rang for the last time, and he headed straight for his rendezvous with Batman and the jet, heading out to the Tower.

*~*~*~

Kon hadn't had the greatest day either. It'd been a never-ending stream of little frustrations and irritations, from waking up late and thus getting to school late to being completely unable to concentrate. Which had only gotten him in more trouble. //You'd think teachers could be a little understanding when a guy's trying to figure out how his whole life can get turned upside down by something that isn't even his choice... but no.//

He'd been surreptitiously checking out various people throughout the day. It seemed that whatever the hell was going on with him, it was Robin-specific, because none of the other guys, not the jocks, or the geeks, or the middle-of-the-road farm kids did anything for him... but oh, some of the girls did... //Cassie'd kill you for that,// he told himself as he finally escaped detention and took off for the Tower. //Looking doesn't mean anything. And besides, I was experimenting. I'm still basically straight, except for this whole Tim thing...// He answered, flying fast across the Midwest and the mountains, slowing as the Tower came in sight so that he wouldn't break windows or anything.

As he got close, he felt that hot, tight ball of emotions and nerves in his chest he normally associated with Cassie--but it had nothing to do with her. Robin was on the roof, skateboarding with Bart... //God, he looks good... Shit! Shut up!// He hung there a few moments, watching Robin pull several tricks with his board with that easy precision... //He's so good at that--hell! Go find Cassie!//

Which was precisely what he did. He stuck close to her, dragging up anything he could think of to say to keep her from getting annoyed, and determinedly stayed as far from Tim as was physically possible. Avoiding the situation seemed like the best idea at this point.

*~*~*~

Several hours later, Robin was lying across his bed, staring at the ceiling, hands at his sides. //Well, this afternoon was as uncomfortable as anyone could ever have wished for me.// Kon had, in fact, been late, but once he'd arrived, he'd spent the entire afternoon and evening sticking as close to Cassie as the elder Titans would allow. =Not that she was complaining--//stop that. He loves Cassie. You're just the (dirty little) secret he wishes he didn't have to keep.// I know. That doesn't mean I have to like it! Oh, I'll deal, but nothing's going to make me like this.=

It was interesting how easily hope turned to bitterness, he noted idly. Though, if he was honest, he more than disliked the situation. Watching Kon stick close to Cassie, laugh with her, brush her hair out of her face, tease her... it hurt, more than he'd hurt since his mother had died. Kon had gone to bed a couple hours ago, pleading exhaustion long earlier than was normal, but even still...

//Get over it. You have to deal with them, work with them.// Stupid practical streak. =I know... I know. And wallowing does no one any good. //Especially not me. It's a good thing I'm accustomed to compartmentalizing my emotions... And that I don't blame Cassie. It's hardly her fault I went and fell for her boyfriend.//=

{{It would be so easy to separa--//NO!//}} That the very idea had even crossed his mind was repulsive. //I could, but I wouldn't. I don't want Kon unhappy, and if Cassie knew she might well kill me.//

All of his thoughts came to a screeching halt at the sound of Kon's distinctive rap at his door. //What does he want?//

*~*~*~

Kon had realized his plan to get past this... thing about Robin wasn't working when Cassie's scent-shampoo and deodorant in a vanilla and a honey kind of scent, and the soft, earthy scent that just meant female--stopped smelling good, and started to outright bother him. It was giving him a headache, actually, a rather nasty one, and tightening knots in his chest. It might have felt better if he could try and cough them away, but everyone knew he didn't get sick. So he'd pled exhaustion and a long week and escaped to his bedroom, put a door between him and everyone else, and tried to settle down and cope with the fact that his body, at least, wasn't ready to be that close to the girl he'd been crazy about for so long. //That is soo not cool...// he thought to himself, laying down, curling up on his side, determined to just go to sleep and forget about it...

...which didn't seem to be working, he realized some time later. As a matter of fact, he was a little too awake--//No. God, no. Not here, not like this...// but he knew he was right. He recognized the signs, now. The slow start of a burn under his skin, the way his senses were picking up every-little-detail of his room, his surroundings... The way his heartbeat was starting to speed up, and the undeniable physical reaction. Another round with malthi'ne was starting... here at the Tower, with Cassie not more than a floor away... and the very thought of her touch turned his stomach, to his utter shame.

More to say he'd tried than anything else--certainly not out of any belief it would actually help--he reached for his slick and shoved his pants to his knees, falling into the hunger that was building up inside him almost by the moment.... Even once he'd lost it into his sheets, it wasn't nearly enough. The release had barely taken the edge off, and Tim's blue eyes had once again been what drove him over. And it was as though the very thought of him made the need, the utter craving worse, because he was completely hard again, and with thoughts of just one person on his mind. //God damn it. I need him...//

Gathering his focus enough to clean up to re-dress and go knock at Robin's door was one of the hardest things he'd ever done. It meant he was admitting he needed this, and that really didn't go over well... but then, there wasn't really any way to deny it, either. He rapped at the door, standing there in silence until Robin opened it.

*~*~*~*

Tim pulled the door open--and in one long look, he understood exactly what was going on. Slightly glazed-over eyes, the shimmer of sweat across his face in the low light spilling out from the lamp on his desk, stance that had nothing to do with gravity and everything to do with nerves //Kon, floors exist for a reason...//, uneasy breathing--so easy to hear the too-quick pattern in the silence of the Tower's night--and barefoot, jeans wrinkled from the knee up, erection tenting out the wrinkled fabric.... //Malthi'ne.... Oh, god damn it.//

For one long, long moment, he wanted to just shut the door again--but leaving Kon in pain was never a real choice. Not one he could make. Instead, he pulled on an understanding look and stepped back from the door, pulling it wide enough to let him in. "Come on in, Kon," he invited, voice low to keep anyone else from hearing.

He watched Kon swallow hard before he nodded once and came inside. //He's nervous,// he noted as he pushed the door closed and re-armed the locks and the security system, then went to pull the curtains more securely shut. "It came back, I take it?" he asked with his back to his teammate.

"Yeah..." //Thank god I don't have to explain more than that...//

//He sounds so miserable... I don't know how to make this easy for him...// He turned around, finding Kon hovering almost dead center of the room, two and a half inches off the floor, looking as miserably unhappy as his voice sounded--and that look felt like a knife. "Kon... I'm sorry."

Bitter, bitter laughter on his ears, and if the expression was a knife that sound was a gunshot wound, "For what, Rob? You didn't play God to create me." Kon watched his face in confusion, wondering why on earth Tim was apologizing for the weirdness of his own DNA. Or maybe he was apologizing for what was going to happen? //Not your fault, either way...//

"True. However, I regret the position this puts you in. You don't want to be here." //And that makes this feel more like rape than I like... This isn't how I wanted you in my bed, Kon...//

"I... Christ, Rob, no, I don't, but you're the only person on this planet I could even think about being like this with..." //And I still wish I understood why... please... stop talking....// He felt his cheeks heat, and realized he was taking small, sniffing breaths, trying to pull Tim's scent into his nose--//God, he smells so good... sharp musk-cologne-sweat-Robin-smell... like safety, like sex...// It was such a sharp contrast to the way Cassie's scent had repelled him... He shifted nervously in midair, need rushing through his veins, trying to stay coherent enough to not just beg for Tim to come make this better...

//He's blushing... why is he blushing? I suppose this isn't easy for him.// "I... will take that as a compliment. How bad is it, Kon?" He moved back to his best friend, looking up at him. //Come back down here, I hate looking up at you.//

"Ah... not quite as bad as last time, yet--but it's getting there. Dude... do you think you could lose the mask?"

The plaintive question made Robin actually pause. "I forgot I had it on. Yes, I can." As he reached for a bottle of solvent, he suggested, "Kon, why don't you sit down?"

His best attempt at a gentle tone apparently worked, as Kon dropped onto a corner of his bed, posture tense. "And get comfortable," he added as the solvent worked on the glue and he pulled the mask away. He knew where this was going, so he heeled out of his boots, pulled off his gloves, hung the cape across his chair back, and disarmed the security system on the suit--Kon getting zapped by the electrical charge was not in the evening's current plan. //Oh, that came out soo wrong...//

"I... Rob, I'm not... but I take what you mean..." He caught the comforter and sheet with his TTK and shoved them back off the bed, out from under him (out of the way) and slid up into the bed, laying down--and Tim's scent hit him. It was in his face, on his skin, all around him, like being wrapped in him... He didn't hear the soft, hungry whimper-noise he made, or notice the way he pressed harder against the bed, but Tim did.

"Easy, Kon. It's okay..."

He almost laughed at that, but it really didn't fit. "Not really, Rob, but... I need you..." Soft-voiced, because that was hard to say, eyes half-open to watch Robin lose mask, gloves, boots, and cape, one after the other, without a single missed beat or hesitation. //He seems so damned composed... like this doesn't really matter to him.//

=But it does... remember? Remember what he said?= He shook his head slightly, //Damned little voice, shut up!// Yes, he remembered, he couldn't forget. It was like the memories were branded into his mind--he jumped, startled, as Tim was suddenly beside him, sitting at his hip, blue eyes... appraising? Was that the word? Whatever the word, it was a very Tim look. A very Robin look.

This close, he could hear Tim's heartbeat, a sound so familiar he could trace it in his sleep, smell him--even though Tim-smell was all around him, the smell coming from him was different--and sound and scent both pulled at him, because Tim wasn't as calm about this as he was trying to look... He could smell need on him, hear it in the faster beat of his heart... He sat up and moved closer in the same move, hands going out to touch, following his instincts, because thinking was too difficult right now, with someone that smelled like this right here with him...

Tim jumped when Kon moved and suddenly hands were on him, despite the fact that he'd been watching Kon cuddle with his sheets--or maybe because of that. He hadn't expected him to move so fast. Those big hands slid over his shoulders, across the armor over his chest... He heard an annoyed, displeased noise and suddenly (entirely without his help) his tunic hit the floor beside them. His eyes went wide. //That was new...// Warm hands were back on him, sliding over the thin undershirt, then that, too, was pulled off his body and dropped... but Kon's hands never left his skin. Kon pulled him closer, back against his hot, solid bulk, and those moving hands slid over his body as though Kon actually wanted him....

//How can this feel so right and still feel like it's ripping my heart out?// he wondered, even as he heard himself moan softly at the caresses. Embarrassing lack of control, but... He rolled his shoulders back against hot, sleek skin, determined to enjoy this while it lasted--and the slow swipe of Kon's tongue against his jaw sent a shudder through him, making him press closer, turning his head to offer a better angle to Kon's mouth....

//Much better,// flashed through Kon's mind as he gained access to smooth, pale warm Tim-skin... and Tim's soft moan went straight to his groin. His eyes slid mostly-shut as he pulled him closer and licked at his neck, tasting sweat and musky arousal and Tim... He licked again, petting, and dragged them backwards, laying Tim down to start seriously petting him, settling half over him as he buried himself in the safety of Tim's scent and feel and sound, sliding his lips down the line of his throat.

Tim shuddered as Kon moved them, laid him down, pressed him against his own bed and caressed him like a lover, mouth on his neck, nuzzling and petting... He gasped for breath, and in the moment's respite that gained he balled up how much the situation hurt and shoved it into the back of his brain. He was going to enjoy this as long as it lasted, he could deal with the pain later...

He wasn't willing to take the chance of Kon realizing there was something wrong. It wasn't at all difficult to enjoy, considering how much he wanted him--he gasped again as Kon sucked at his throat. The force of the suction left him no doubt that there would be a mark there in the morning. He hissed softly, tugging at Kon's hair to warn him off, //No, damnit! (not like this.)// When Kon pulled away he twisted quickly and leverage at shoulder and the hair in his grasp dropped Kon onto his back, where he might have a chance at surviving this.

"Isn't this supposed to be me taking care of you?" he asked, sliding his hands down bare, hard-muscled perfect flesh, a sensation now so familiar it would be in his memory 'til the end of time....

Kon blinked up at him, startled at the sudden change and too aroused to have much sense... it took long moments before he could nod. "I... yeah... but, you smell so good..." //I just said that out loud... (oops)// He flushed, and thought he saw Tim smile.

"Hm." He dipped his head to lick at Kon's shoulder, letting his hands roam over Kon's body, looking for erogenous zones, trying to make Kon brainless as swiftly as was feasible, wanting Kon's pleasure. This seemed very similar to before, so he wanted Kon as relaxed and insensate as possible before he gave him what his body needed. This time, though, he had the luxury of taking his time, and gladly did, losing himself in the feel of him, in the way he reacted... He peeled the rest of Kon's clothing away and dropped it aside without ever fully letting go, kissing and nuzzling at Kon's chest as his hands slid over him.

Kon let himself fall into the feel of Robin's hands on him until finally... "Tim... Tim Please!" The cry was ripped from his throat without thought--he was too desperate to think by now, turned into nothing but a mass of need by Tim's touch....

"Shh..." Tim whispered to him, touch urging him to turn onto his chest, then he moved long enough to find his slick. He slid out of his tights and jock fast, dropped them to the floor, then coated the fingers of one hand, running the other across Kon's back reassuringly. He slid his fingers down the curve of Kon's ass, pressing against his entrance... and to his pleasure, though not surprise, Kon's body opened easily. Two of his fingers slid in at that first press, and the low, soft moan and arch told him Kon was enjoying this. He worked those for long moments, the feel of his best friend stretched around his fingers becoming part of his memory along with the way Kon was moving against his hand...

Kon rocked back hard against the fingers inside him, too far gone to be ashamed of the mewls ripping out of his throat, hands fisting in the pillows over his head as he tried to get more... "Tim, god, please, NOW!" //Stop teasing me!//

Flicker of uncertainty banished by the desperation in Kon's voice. Tim squeezed slick into the palm of his free hand with his fingers still buried in Kon's body, then dropped the tube off the side of the bed and slicked himself up. He pulled his fingers out of Kon's body slowly and swiped them across the sheets fast, then blanketed him, hands sliding up to rest against Kon's forearms, pressing against--into--him, mouth settling at the join of his neck and shoulder before he knew it, and--//oh. God. Still so hot, almost forgot...// He moved once, letting his hips buck, testing... and the way Kon bucked back hard against him said 'yes', and 'please', and 'more', so he moved again, fighting to stay in control.

Kon moaned, not soft, and bucked back against him again, //Oh... oh, yes...// trying to get him deeper, get more... the angle wasn't right, he needed--"Tim, more..." he begged, sure Tim would know how to make this perfect..

"Up... up on your knees Kon..." Tim shifted to encourage that, and Kon moved--//Must have used the TTK...//--the moment he finished talking, up on his knees with his forehead on his arms, spread to give Tim the access he wanted. Tim took advantage of the change in angle, using it to get deeper, sliding more completely into him... He heard Kon purr, then moan, and took that as approval, moving again, and again, finding a pace that drew hot, hungry noises and he went with that, sliding a hand down Kon's body to find a hip and hold on as Kon moved with him, making the hottest damned noises he'd ever heard.... It was almost too much and he started to talk, low and soft, mouth damned near against Kon's ear, trying to bring Kon over because his control was shredding, "God, Kon... so fucking hot.. so tight--I've got you, you're safe. C'mon, Kon, come for me..."

Kon gasped, bucking back against Tim's hard body, hearing that voice again, the tone in his dreams.... He shuddered, and when that sex-rough voice ordered him to come--he did. He fell forward into the wet below him without noticing as his brain shorted out, physically collapsing as well. Distantly, he heard Tim cry out and felt the hard-fast-rough bucks as Tim lost it inside him, but there was a haze between him and the rest of the world right now. All that mattered was not letting Tim move away from him....

Tim came back to himself sprawled over Kon's broad back, sated and boneless and exhausted... and hollow in a way that should never be combined with the aftermath of really good sex. He lay there panting, sure his weight wasn't even an inconvenience to the teen under him, and pressed his closed eyes against Kon's shoulder so that he wouldn't have to think for at least a few moments more--and if he did, the expression was hidden. He started to move away--and felt Kon's TTK cling to him, holding him still as Kon whimpered unhappily. //Cuddling. New symptom...? (Oh, shut up).// "Okay. Okay, Kon, I won't move... It's okay..."

"Mm... n' okay. Y' tried t' move. Don' want y' to...."

Tim was torn. On one hand, he liked knowing what Kon sounded like when he'd been so well fucked his brain was shut off... and on the other hand that was just another memory to turn to pain soon (when Kon went back to Cassie). "Okay, I won't move...."

"Y'can't... TTK." sleepy-sated Kon-voice, and the logic of the exhausted. "N' goin' n'where..."

"I noticed... Can you pull the blanket up?"

"Hu-oh. Yeah." The blanket settled over them obediently and Tim pressed his cheek to Kon's shoulder. He waited a few minutes, then carefully tried to move--and Kon growled, holding him still.

"Kon... this isn't comfortable...." He tried for his best gently reassuring tone.

"Oh..." Sleepy frown into the pillows, and Tim moved without his consent, being TTK'd up into the air for a moment as Kon rolled onto his side then pulled Tim down and back against his chest like a living teddy bear or body-pillow, big, strong arms curled around him closely.... Tim thought his heart was going to shatter. He lay still in Kon's arms, just breathing. It didn't make much sense to try and escape from a clinging telekinetic--and he refused to be run out of his own bed.

Kon nuzzled at the back of his neck, holding on gently, hand moving just a little in tiny, caressing motions, too sated to really notice that there was something going on with Tim when everything felt perfectly right... and between one hand-move and the next, he dropped off to sleep, curled up around Robin.

Tim lay there quietly, attempting to fall asleep, lying tensed against the roiling emotions making that an impossibility. This was exactly what he'd spent so long wanting... and despite the positioning, despite the fact that Kon was staying, he didn't have him, this was just some new side-effect of Kon's physiology. It still wasn't real... and it hurt. The sleep-soft breaths against his neck, the solid weight of the arm wrapped around him, the planes of steel-strong muscle gone sleep-lax and pliant behind him didn't belong to him, he had no right to know all of this--and when that was all he'd wanted for so many years... He felt himself shudder involuntarily and frowned. He had better control than to let his emotional state bleed over into his body....

The sleeping teen behind him half-roused at the shudder. //Tim? Something wrong?// He made a soft, worried noise, and half-opened his eyes to see Tim, kissing at a shoulder. "Tim? 'Samatter? 'S okay..."

Tim blinked, surprised, and tried to relax as Kon started to pet him again. "I'm okay, Kon...." Lying through his teeth.

"No. Not," sleepily-determined voice, and Kon nuzzled again, petting gently. "Want y' to be, though. Both safe, both tired, y' should sleep... I have you. Like you have me. Safe. All good. Warm, safe, good... Sleep. 'Kay?" Tim didn't smell quite right... he smelled sad... that wasn't okay. "Be okay. 'm here... 'm here. Is okay...." He kissed the skin under his lips, holding him close, petting just a little as he tried to soothe Tim down into sleep, still mainly asleep himself.

The shudder returned--more of a shake this time, really--with a vengeance as Tim struggled against the tears he was trying to shed, biting his lip to stay in control... and he asked, voice hoarse and wrong, "Do you mean that, Kon?"

"mm-hmm... Safe... it's okay, Tim, it's okay... you're safe... easy, Rob..." he kissed at the back of Tim's neck again, cuddling him, trying to ease whatever-it-was that was wrong so that he could get the sleep his body was demanding, and Tim needed to sleep, too.

Tim didn't think he could take much more of this. Kon was giving him everything his heart desired, but it wasn't real. //Yeah, I'm safe. But what about my heart?// He sighed softly, stretched against Kon's hold--not trying to get away, just shifting--and resettled, slowly managing to fall asleep. When Tim settled, Kon did as well, relaxing into deep sleep with the surety that all was well.

*~*~*~*

The morning light coming through the open shades of Tim's room and slanting across the bed was enough to wake Kon. Something about the change in temperature and the way his body reacted to the sunlight always woke him, but slowly... He came awake curled around a warm, strong body, his nose filled with a scent that meant safety and friendship, feeling utterly content.... In the half-awake haze, he pressed closer to the body in his arms, cuddling--this wasn't something he got to do very often, and he was going to take full advantage of it... then he woke enough to realize who he was curled around. //Tim? ...oh.// The sheet had slid down to their waists overnight, leaving them half-nude in the embrace.

He waited for the denial and revulsion that should accompany finding himself curled up around another guy skin to skin... and it didn't come. He was still perfectly content to be right where he was--and that told him something. //Yeah, that I've been protesting too damned much. Stupid Shakespeare.// He shifted back a little and carefully changed position to get up onto an elbow. Now he could watch Tim and think about this mess he'd gotten himself into.

Asleep, Tim didn't look angelic, or radiant, or any of the clichés Kon'd heard all his short life, he just looked... Timmish. He did look peaceful, more than usual, and some of the hard lines of strain and command had eased off his face, leaving him looking more like the kid he'd met on their first adventure together. //Man, that was a long time ago...// Even in sleep, though, Tim didn't look happy. //Does he ever look happy? ...I don't know. I miss the way he used to smile, though... not the smirk that's all I get now, but that real smile...//

Kon realized that was another tally on the list of things that meant he probably wasn't straight. Missing another guy's smile? Yeah, not so much. That he could remember the way it would struggle to emerge--like he wasn't sure he should--then finally break through to shine wide and pleased over the planes of his face. Sometimes the mask would even be gone (or at least the lenses retracted), and those big blue eyes would almost glow with whatever emotion had brought the smile... that wasn't the kind of thing you remembered about someone that was just a friend. That was the way he remembered Tana, Roxy, Cassie... the women he'd loved in one way or another. That kind of attention to detail--details from even years back as vivid as yesterday--you didn't remember about just a friend... but someone you wanted? Sure.

The quality of the light coming in caught Kon's attention. //It must be a heck of a sunrise,// he noted. The light was more gold than clear, and the way it streamed in over Tim's face and body highlighted the planes of his body, bringing them to Kon's attention. He'd always been aware of Tim's body--hard not to be when they spent so much time together--but now it was different. The awareness wasn't just 'yeah, he's built' any more.... He was seeing Tim the way he'd see a girl that caught his eye, seeing the hard, strong planes of solid muscle in the same kind of light he'd see soft curves, attention drawn to the lines of strong arms and built abs.... //I could go for this,// he realized. Feeling Tim like this, holding him like this, made him realize that he really did like it. That this felt good. Being like this--being intimate with Tim--was good with him. More than good.

That kind of shocked him, but the evidence was building up that this was a fine thing. //This is Tim... my best friend. He's been my partner, and I think... I want him even when I'm not in malthi'ne. I mean... I wouldn't mind waking up like this again. I wouldn't mind at all... He still smells so good... and he feels good like this... I think... I could do this.// He slid his upper hand over Tim's shoulder, feeling smooth skin over hard muscle--and then catching the different texture of the scars littered across it...

*~*~*~

That sensation was enough to wake Tim and he opened his eyes, taking a deep breath--and the input of his senses crashed in on him. //Shoulder--being petted. Big hand. Body behind me... Smells--sex... and Kon. Oh. Is he still here?... Must still be here. That's his hand... why is he still here?// He leaned slightly into the touch, sure he could blame sleepiness if Kon reacted poorly, and with his eyes still closed and his face relaxed, considered the situation. //I thought he'd vanish... Correction. I was sure he'd freak and leave as soon as he came out of it. This is strange...// He was puzzled, which was not a state he enjoyed. The fairly strong evidence that Kon would run like hell as soon as he was capable of it was not meshing with the reality around him.. this did not suit Robin.

//You're not going to get any answers like this,// logic pointed out. Tim was forced to agree, and slowly opened his eyes, looking away from Kon at the rest of his room. //Same as ever, barring his clothes... must be about 7, here, from the way the room's lit.// With no minor distractions left to buy him time, he shifted to look up at Kon, wondering what he would see.

There was something soft in Kon's eyes and the smile on his lips, something different... He'd never seen Kon aim that kind of look at him, though he'd seen it sometimes when Dick watched Babs.... The very softness of it--and the association he'd just made--froze him in place, stopping the breath in his lungs--and he knew he had no control over his own expression, whatever it might be... some sick-looking combination of shock and hope, in all likelihood. He couldn't breathe, and he watched Kon, realizing his eyes were wider than he liked far too late to do anything about it. His pulse was too fast in his chest, as well.

*~*~*~*

Kon felt his smile widen just a little as Tim looked up at him, those blue eyes still sleep-confused and a little hazed. He was pretty sure the expression on his face was just a little bit goofy, but that was okay--wait, what was wrong with Tim? That wasn't a good look, and he was... holding his breath? This couldn't be good... "Tim?" He'd never heard his own voice that soft. "Tim... it's okay, easy... What's wrong? What is it?" //Oh, god, please be okay...//

Tim stared up at him, swallowing hard, and Kon swore confusion had a smell after he took his next breath. "I... I thought you'd be gone.."

//What? ...oh. Yeah. I guess that would make sense.// Kon shook his head, and ran his hand over Tim's other shoulder, now that Tim was laying on his back looking up at him--and god, that positioning was messing with his head... //No, talk now. Lick Tim all over later.// It was so nice to be having sex-related thoughts that had nothing to do with fucking malthi'ne, he realized, watching Tim, worrying about Tim. His mind was perfectly clear... and Tim was still who he wanted. "No... I'm still here." //Please let him want me to be here!//

*~*~*~*

Tim blinked up at him, breathing again mainly because he was too stubborn not to, and because it was rather essential. "I... see that..." //Oh, god. Stop petting me or explain this to me, because last I knew you were straight!// "Hi." //Kon, I don't know what's going on with you...//

He leaned into the touch when Kon's hand ran down his shoulder again--and that look was still on Kon's face, though it had a more worried cast, now. Without his consent or control, his left hand fisted into the bedsheet as he struggled not to reach out for Kon (or shove him away, even he wasn't sure which). //Kon... don't do this to me. Don't play with me... not like this. Not about this.//

"What I'm not so sure about... is why." He cut off the rest of what he'd wanted to say, though it played on in his mind, //as there's a girl down the hall who would be really hurt if she knew you were sharing my bed, and, last I knew, you weren't interested in anything but sex with me, and that only because of your biology...//

*~*~*~*

Kon winced at the flat tone of Tim's voice--though, the way he'd leaned into his hand kept him from freaking out and deciding to drop the whole thing. "I... wasn't sure either, right after I woke up... but I've been laying here a while, and... I think my body knew what I wanted a long time before I did." He looked away from Tim, wanting to finish saying this before he looked back at the guy he wanted in his life, and bed //(and heart)... Yes, I know.//

"I... you know I've always been about the girls, but... Tim, this feels right. I've been laying here just watching you fucking sleep, and I've never been as happy as I was for those ten or fifteen minutes! That tells me something, something I know I ought to listen to."

He glanced quickly back at Tim to see how he was reacting, and shook his head slightly at the expression of shocked disbelief. //You don't believe me. Why don--oh.// "No, I'm not still screwed up from malthi'ne. I'm perfectly clearheaded, and feeling you curled up against me, seeing you beside me... it's right, Tim..."

He looked straight down at Tim's eyes then, hearing the plea in his voice as he kept talking, "I can't be the only one that feels this way, I can't. From a lot of what you've said when we--you've wanted me for a long time... so... what do you say?"

//Please, please, please let me be right!// He prayed to whatever gods might be listening to the prayers of a half-kryptonian clone.

*~*~*~*

Tim stared at him, letting the words run through his mind several times before he could even think of a response. He'd thought the emotional rollercoaster of the rooftop was bad? It had nothing on the firestorm that wracked him as he listened to Kon. //What do I say? How do I even start?//

=Say 'Hell, yes', you idiot!= the damned hopeful voice was back, and overjoyed, and was encouraging him very strongly to grab Kon's head, drag it down, and kiss him until he couldn't breathe. The rest of him was vetoing that idea with everything it had. All of his bitterness and resentment of the last week wanted to throw Cassie in Kon's face, make him face what he would be giving up--

Hope yelled some more about that, pointing out that that would only hurt Kon for no good reason, and something else pointed out that it was also an entirely self-protective urge, which was completely cowardly and therefore despicable. There was the matter of Steph to consider, if this was going to be permanent, but they were currently off, so it was the cowardice that was prompting this and--//You're not going to do that. You are not sabotaging yourself and your chance at this because he (accidentally) hurt you earlier.//

Wait a minute, Robin was getting in on backing this idea? When did this happen? //When Kon realized this was a good thing. I'm not going to let you lose him.//

Tim realized he'd been staring at Kon for entirely too long, and that his lover's face was starting to slip into sadness. //Can't have that!// "Kon, I... you're not wrong. I have."

Kon's face brightened again, a look of relief replacing the unhappy expression of a moment ago, and Tim didn't try to fight his answering smile, though he could feel that it was a rather uncertain one.

*~*~*~*

//Oh, god, I read him wrong. I was completely wrong, and he doesn't want me, he was just taking care of me, and he's not interested, and he's trying to figure out how to let me down eas--he's talking... oh, thank you, God, whatever you want, just let me know!//

"Yeah?" He swallowed, trying to put his voice back to normal from the slightly high range it had hit on that question. "Yeah? Is that an 'I have, and I still do' or an 'I have, but I don't anymore'? 'Cause, I don't know if I can handle the second..." //I really don't think I can...//

*~*~*~*

//He... Is he scared? Yeah, he is... He's afraid I'm going to say no, and he doesn't want me to--Oh, thank you, Gods.// It never hurt to cover all of your bases, and Kon-El going gay for him had to have involved divine intervention.... "It's... definitely the first, Kon..." He swallowed around the nerves balling up in his throat and let his hand disengage from the covers to slide up Kon's arm to his shoulder and hold on. "I... don't think I could stop wanting you if I tried..." //Actually, I have tried. Repeatedly. It doesn't work.// "But... Kon, you're not gay. You said it yourself, you've always been about the girls...."

*~*~*~*

//He didn't say no! He didn't say no!// Kon could feel his grin trying to split his cheeks. Then Tim kept talking, and it dimmed. "Yeah. I have... but that doesn't mean I always have to be. Tim... you're not hearing me. I--want you. You. Not some random guy off the street, or even one of the other cape-and-spandex guys. You. Robin, Tim, hell, even Alvin and Mr. Sarcastic, if I have to put up with them!" //Now that I think about it... He did look hot in that mesh shirt...//

"What about Cassie?"

That question froze him, but only for a moment. "She'll get over me. We've been so on and off for so long, and I think everyone expects she and I to get together eventually, I mean, Supes and Wonder Woman can't, Lois is there, so, it kind of falls to me and Cassie to get together... but..."

He shook his head, a little lost for words, then he found them again, letting everything that had been boiling in the back of his brain fall out of his mouth. "She had a crush on me, and when Tana died... it was easy to go to her. I mean, she's gorgeous, and she's pretty damned smart, and she made it not hurt so much... but.... that's all it is, Tim. She's not the 'great love of my life' or anything, she's a high school crush gone too far... I'll never tell you I don't care about her, because I do, and always will, she's a good friend. But I feel way, way more for you than I ever have for her, and it kind of scares me, because I know how much shit we'll take, I know how many people are going to hate this--even in OUR set, let alone the rest of the world. But... this is too right to pass up, Tim. You're too right for me for me to give this up, unless you tell me you want me to." //Okay, Rob. Ball's in your court... what are we going to do?//

*~*~*~*

By the time Kon finally shut up again, Tim had needed to make a concerted effort to keep his jaw closed against the shock. //Did he really just tell me I mean more to him than Cassie does? Or am I crazy?//

//Well, you're not crazy.// He shook his head, just once, more in reaction than negation, and studied Kon's face, realizing he'd meant all of that rambling. "I... maybe I should, maybe it would be the safest thing to do... but I'm not going to. If you're willing to try this... So am I." //I've wanted you for too damned long not to at least try...//

*~*~*~*

"Okay, then." Kon nodded once, really more a jerk than a nod, as Robin's words made it official. "I want to. I want this with you... I--Can I kiss you?"

The sudden smile that brought to Tim's face was all the reward he needed, because it was one he'd never seen before, one that was real, and honest, and more overjoyed than he'd ever come close to seeing Tim before.. //I made him happy. I really, truly, made him happy--He's talking again, pay attention!//

"Yes, Kon, you can."

With an invitation like that, who could resist? Kon dipped his head, sliding the hand on Tim's shoulder back behind his head, and lifted just a little to bring Tim's lips up... and kissed him. He didn't know what Tim might've expected, but there were things a first kiss was supposed to be--a little bit unsure, and sweet, and a little careful--and that was how he kissed Tim this time. He kept it closed-mouthed and almost chaste for almost a minute, then deepened it, asking Tim to let him in with the tip of his tongue... and Tim did--then Kon almost laughed as Tim //such a Bat!// tried to take over. He let him, as it seemed all Tim wanted to do was return the favor and explore his mouth... God, this felt good... kissing Tim was something he could do for a very, very long time....

*~*~*~*

//Am I still dreaming?// Tim wondered as Kon kissed him, then let him return the kiss... He didn't want to wake up if he was... but he somehow doubted that any dream would be detailed enough to give him the feeling of cold air against his shoulder where Kon's hand had been, or the slight film of plaque over his teeth... Or the brush of stubble between their jaws as they changed the angle of the kiss. He pressed his right thumbnail hard against the side of his index finger, testing--and was satisfied that he was not dreaming when the sudden pain didn't shock him out of the dream. //No, this is real... this is actually real...//

That worry satisfied, and any others firmly put away for later consideration, Tim lost himself in kissing Kon, secure for the moment in the arms that now were the safety he hadn't believed in earlier... //Mine, now...//

There were a million details to work out, but until something or someone disturbed them, Tim wasn't thinking about any of them. He had better things to do... like kiss Kon until he forgot all about everyone else.  
*~*~*~*

The End. (for now?)


End file.
